Hello, friends—I'm Joel Holdford, Retired Chief of Police, US Army Veteran, and your Lifeonomics Coach.

Last week, we focused on restoring honor and integrity in everything we do. Many of you shared powerful stories of stepping up in small ways that made big differences. How did that land for you? Did it free up space in your heart and mind?

This week, we're building on that foundation with one of the most transformative practices I've ever adopted—straight from the wisdom of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. Principle Number One: Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.

As veterans and first responders, we've lived in high-stakes environments where quick judgments and venting were sometimes survival tools. But in civilian life, those same habits can drain the very energy we need for what truly matters: our families, our purpose, and living fully in the present.

A Quick Story from the Field

Early in my Army days, after a tough deployment, I came home and found myself constantly griping about little things—the traffic, the "system," even small frustrations at home. It felt justified; I'd earned the right to blow off steam, right? But one day, my wife gently pointed out how it was pulling me away from our kids' bedtime stories and our quiet evenings together. That hit hard. I realized the Triple C's weren't just words—they were stealing precious moments I could never get back. When I committed to stopping them, even when it felt "deserved," the shift was immediate: more patience, deeper conversations, and real presence with the people who matter most.

Why This Matters – Especially for Veterans and Military Families

The Triple C's (Criticizing, Condemning, Complaining) hijack our attention and erode relationships at a time when many of us are already navigating big transitions. Recent data underscores the stakes:

• In 2024 surveys, mental health challenges remain high, with about 17-18% of veterans experiencing mental illness, often tied to strained relationships and isolation.

• Military families report time away from family as a top stressor (39% in recent reports), and negativity cycles can amplify disconnection—making it harder to rebuild those bonds post-service.

• Access to mental health care is tough, with wait times and shortages noted in 2024-2025 reports, meaning we need everyday tools like this to protect our focus and family time before issues escalate.

• Studies show veterans with relational strains (like those fueled by habitual negativity) face higher risks for ongoing stress and lower life satisfaction.

These habits create a negativity bias that rewires our brains over time, pulling focus from constructive action to endless loops of judgment. But when we redirect that energy? We gain clarity, stronger connections, and more time for what lights us up.

Our Mind, Body, and Spirit Triple C Challenge: 7 Days, No Exceptions

For the next seven days, commit with us: Don't Criticize, Condemn, or Complain—even if it seems justified, even privately, and especially not in texts, posts, or behind someone's back.

Quick definitions to keep us aligned:

• Criticize: Unsolicited negative comments, especially without a solution or to someone who can't fix it. (Gossip is criticism in disguise—and it's toxic.)

• Condemn: Judging or declaring something/someone wrong without full facts. It gives a false hit of superiority but builds walls.

• Complain: Dumping negatives on people who can't change it. (A polite heads-up to your waiter about cold food? That's fine. Repeated venting to a buddy about your spouse? That's complaining—time to seek real help instead.)

Catch yourself in the moment. Pause. Redirect to silence, gratitude, or a constructive question like, "How can I help?" or "What can we do better together?"

Track it daily—journal wins, slips, and how relationships feel. Replace the energy with something positive: a kind word, a walk with family, or focused time on a goal.

Bonus for veterans/military: Think of this as mental discipline training—like PT for the mind. It builds resilience and honors the service mindset of mission over ego.

What’s Possible on the Other Side?

Imagine reclaiming hours of mental bandwidth each week. Deeper family connections. Less stress. More energy for your True North—your Truly Important people and pursuits.

Ready to step up?